Saturday, May 29, 2010

The Girls Guide to Picking Your Stanley Cup Final Team: Chicago Blackhawks

Nice mudflap, Patrick Kane. You've done 1987 proud.


I'm still doped up and missing most of my kneecap. But I march (hobble) on in my quest to help you pick which team to root for in the Stanley Cup Final. Let's have a look at the Chicago Blackhawks.


Why You Should Root For Them

Where to start? The Blackhawks are one of the feel-good sports stories of the last few years. Remember how it always seemed like the people who hate children the most always become math teachers, and you wonder why they ever took a job working with kids? Well, you had to wonder why Bill Wirtz ever bought a hockey team. The Blackhawks owner let the team toil in obscurity, deciding it wouldn't be in the team's best interest to televise home games. Not that anyone really wanted to watch them anyway, since they were routinely pretty bad. But ownership didn't want to do anything about that either. Then "Dollar" Bill died, leaving his son in charge of the franchise and boy howdy did he turn that shit around. Games were broadcast, veteran talent was recruited, and franchise cornerstones were drafted, and soon the Windy City had a team to rally around (not Jay Cutler's). The once-proud franchise was proud again. Thanks in large part to the savvy drafting of Jonathan Toews, a sort of baby Yzerman, and Partrick Kane (who is currently cultivating an awesome Rocky V-era Tommy Gunn-style mullet), a wee, slippery sniper. The infusion of fresh blood meshed with veteran(-ish) mettle from Brian Campbell and Patrick Sharp among others. But the key word is 'young.' Because there's the blistering, young defense of Brents Sopel and Seabrook and Duncan Keith. And a passal of nasty power forwards like Kris Versteeg and Dustin Byfuglien. Plus, there's Antti Niemi, celebrating his Vicky Lester moment in goal. It's a team that should be good for a while, so you might want to latch on now. And, because it must be said, not only do the Blackhawks boast one of the best logos in sports, they are also much better looking than the Flyers. If that matters to you.


Why You Shouldn't Root For Them

Well, there are some behavior questions for the team. Patrick Kane, their young star on offense, was arrested last summer for punching out a cabbie over pocket change in Buffalo. No, I didn't make that up. You'd be hard-pressed to pull a story that douchey out of your ass. Baby Yzerman Jonathan Toews was arrested a few years ago for underage drinking, which--shocking! Who doesn't wait til they turn 21 to drink in this country? Scandal!! Though, realistically, one would expect a Baby Yzerman to have wits enough not to get caught. Then there's Marian Hossa, who's come off as a gormless, craven Roger Clemens-type; eager to win a Cup no matter the team. Otherwise... not much to say. These are two tough-to-root-against teams. Neither is truly deplorable if you are not from the New York tri-state area, in which case, you're going to root against a Philadelphia team no matter what. So, take your pick.

8 comments:

韋于倫成 said...

Care killed the cat. take care yourself. ....................................................

EHisCDN said...

I love the Blackhawks, and it's just a bonus that they're one of the best looking teams out there!

One person you didn't mention was Andrew Ladd, he's always a good guy to have around and grind out some goals and finish some checks. And Brian Campbell to add some colour to the group (Versteeg is also a character).

Darn I'm watching the game while writing this and nasty Hartnell just scored. That guy is totally disgusting, but anyway.

GO HAWKS GO. Aside from being a diehard Pens fan and therefore hating the Flyers, I love the Blackhawks. They're my second favourite team.

As a side note, I totally didn't know that Tazer got arrested for underage drinking! I always thought he was so clean cut, I mean he is Captain Serious!

Loser Domi said...

I love Kane and Toews together, since they're so different. Toews is mr Serious, always calm and logical--like Mr. Spock. Kane is like a dirty little jerk who gets ladies because of his charm and sports skills and is a swarthy douche--like Captain Kirk.

I realize I need to write Kane and Toews Star Trek inspired fictions.

慧玲 said...

想像是什麼並不重要,想像能做什麼才重要..................................................

木儀 said...

好文章給人的感覺就是很好,謝謝您~~........................................

ShilaLong嘉雯 said...

Better be the head of a dog than the tail of a lion...................................................

sdas said...

Cast not the first stone. ........................................

D said...

I Love the blackhawks I can't wait until the season starts in September.....I can't wait for the goosebumps that are sure to come when I hear the national anthem :D
yay!!!hokey!!!!