Monday, October 06, 2008

The SportSquee Glossary: Radiohead Answer


Radiohead Answer (n.)


Def.- (1) An answer one gives to an opinion question that offers the least amount of embarrassment when said out loud, regardless of the truthful answer. Many who give a Radiohead Answer either have more pedestrian tastes or feel insecure in their knowledge of a given subject, and is trying to hide that fact; (2) any cheap and/or cliché answer used to make one seem smarter or cooler.

Origin- When you ask a random person who his or her favorite band is, more often than not, he or she will answer Radiohead.** Radiohead’s musicianship, critical acclaim, and artsy cache make them the most appealing choice for anyone trying to cover more embarrassing musical tastes or lack of knowledge of music. Rarely can a person who claims a hold on Radiohead fandom explain how OK Computer trumps Kid A, but could probably tell you that 98 Degrees had a more elegant sound than *NSYNC.
**For a brief period, during Radiohead’s hiatus, this occurrence could have been called a Coldplay Answer. However, most people have come to realize that the undeniable quality of Coldplay’s music is in direct correlation to how insufferable Coldplay the band is. Plus, the 40-Year-Old Virgin killed their rep.

Usage- It is important to remember that a Radiohead Answer must be delivered with the conviction that one is bringing a new fact to light and must be delivered with earnestness and passion.

Examples of Radiohead Answers-

Hockey Player You Hate: Sean Avery

Football Team to Hate: Dallas Cowboys

Favorite NHL Player: Alex Ovechkin
(Editor’s note: Sidney Crosby is too divisive, Nicklas Lidstrom is too quiet, Mike Richards is a Radiohead Answer for a real d-bag)

Favorite Baseball Player: Derek Jeter

Favorite TV Show: Lost/24/Family Guy

Favorite Coen Brothers Movie: The Big Lebowski

Favorite Dog: Yellow Lab

Favorite Actor: Sean Penn

Favorite New Kid: Jordan Knight

Favorite Outdoor Activity: Snowboarding

Favorite Exercise: Yoga

Favorite Fast Food: In-N-Out Burger

Favorite Refrain: "I don't watch a lot of TV."

2 comments:

Kirsten said...

Damn, not that my secret west coast survival strategy has been outted, I have to think of a new one.

I don't watch a lot of TV...outside of Wednesday nights.

Sherry said...

This is so true. I'm still waiting for a pro athlete to admit that they totally love Project Runway.