Wednesday, July 02, 2008

The SportSquee Challenge: Sarah and KM Stiles

To promote and further the intellectual discourse concerning hot bitches in the NHL, in response to this post by SportSquee's fellow circus freak and the greatest show under the Blog Top, Greg Wyshynski, we asked our faithful readers to submit their personal list of Top Ten Hottest Hockey Players for public consumption and possible humiliation. The rules are that the players are on regular NHL duty, and a reason is given for why the number one is the number one and your number one ONLY. Please feel free to judge each list harshly in the comments and to submit your own via email. Today's contributions come from Emily and Bianca.

Sarah of the Unofficial Matthieu Schneider Homepage, who avoided blatant lies and a conflict of interest by excluding Schneider from her list, and who admits to having strange taste in men.

1. Brad Richards (DAL) Never in my life have I been attracted to a "blond" guy. Of course, he's not really blond, but he's definitely the lightest guy I've given a second glance to (besides Ryan Philippe). I know he doesn't do it for a lot of girls, but he does it for me. He's so boy-next-door; not to mention the floppy light hair, and the jaw and chin combo really enhance his resemblance to sweet, romantic Wesley from The Princess Bride. But admittedly, just as Brad can go really good (i.e. the pic from Peace magazine a few years ago), he can go really bad (i.e. the buzz cut does not work on him). And he's got those Modano chompers (which is better than no teeth I guess). If he'd stop trying too hard to be hip and go on his natural good looks, he'd be awesome all of the time and look less like every other A&F wanna be (I work at a college; I know that type too well)
2. Vincent Lecavalier (TAM)
3. Ethan Moreau (EDM)

4. Ray Whitney (CAR) Editor's note: Whitney is a Mike Richards-type of responsible-looking dream hubby. Like he'd fill out a pair of Levi's, and always make sure your car inspection is up-to-date. Love him.
5. Ales Kotalik (BUF) Editor's note: Doesn't he look like an attractive and male Daniel Briere?
6. Carey Price (MTL)
7. Mike Green
8. Sheldon Souray
9. Mike Richards (PHI)
10. Mike Cammalleri

KM Stiles, my HLOG sister and maven of the Kings blog Purple Crushed Velvet, who hates and desires Dan Cloutier, while being Mike Cammalleri's first wife.

10. Dan Cloutier (Limbo) I may hate him more than words can describe, but make-up sex is awesome so...yeah, whatever.
9. Patrick O'Sullivan (Kings)
8. Loui Eriksson (Dallas)
7. Daniel Briere (Philadelphia) Editor's note: If this were your Top Ten Hottest Elf-Children of the NHL List, I'd be cool with this choice. Then and only then.
6. Antoine Vermette (OTT)
5. Ryan Malone (TB) Editor's note: Again, I see him and I hear Ani DiFranco. Please use both hands...
4. Jason Arnott (Nashville)
3. Rick Nash (CBJ)
2. Taylor Pyatt (Vancouver) Editor's note: I'd like to point out that this is Pyatt's first appearance on any of these lists. Preach it, KM Stiles.
1. Vinny Lecavalier (TAM) He is so unbelievably smoking hot I can't believe he's actually a hockey player and not on the pages of every single issue of GQ. During the '05-'06 Playoffs, he squared off with Zdeno Chara and was almost immediately in trouble. Chara got him on his back and Vinny covered his face as Chara pulled back his fist and I jumped off my couch and screamed "NOOOOOO!!!!" I think there should be a mandatory visor rule and a "No Fighting Allowed if You're 'This' Hot" Rule just so Vinny's face will never get ruined.


Ms. Conduct said...

I had Pyatt! Well... I had Pyatt on my list. I only WISH I HAD Pyatt. Tres yummy. Shame he's a nuck.

arrugaoil said...

Pyatt has Biron dreamy!

I can 100% agree on Ethan. When he has his teeth in & is in a suit, holy better have an extra pair of panties on hand.

I'm going to have to look into this Ray Whitney guy. I try my hardest to spread my love throughout the league but I keep my distance from Carolina..I carry a huge chip on my shoulder about that whole ''thing''.

ESunlin said...

Mmm, Ethan. There is a 4 minute video with him in it on Youtube. WOW. F-ing gorgeous. I want him....

I love this reader participation...

Life_As_A_Redhead said...

Totally agree on Brad Richards. He's not quite blond enought for me though. Plus my mom thinks he's hot, she says he looks exactly like Joe Montana and so she would totally do him, which is just to wierd to deal with.

Poor Loui, no number 1s yet. I wonder if he needs someone to cuddle and comfort him yet? I have to make sure that I'm first in line when he does...

Ethan = Yuch... No way, even if he could do the splits, it wouldn't help.

Pyatt is like a cross between Brion & Mike Komisarik. I would still take Komisarik or Brion over him though.

Sarah said...

I'm happy my in-post partner had Vinnie first. It was a battle between he and bff B-Rad for my first place. But it always seems like B-Rad is coming in 2nd to Vinnie on everything else...

And arrugaoil, do check out Ray. Total cutie. He was my favorite Shark when I was in high school. After a few trades, I lost track of him. But then I saw a recent shot of him in Carolina; a few more wrinkles and a little less hair, but boy has he held up well.

k.m.stiles said...

omg, Ray Whitney really is all that. I can't believe I forgot about him! And yes, I love me some Vinny! For some reason Brad Richards doesn't really do it for me. Maybe it's because of that NHL Profile video where he was wine tasting all by himself and looked like a huge snob.