Maybe if you flea-dip Henrik Zetterberg....
I kinda give up already. This championship is just too hard to watch. The Pittsburgh Penguins aren't playing badly. That's not really it. It's that the Detroit Red Wings are playing so well. Seriously. It's disheartening. The Wings are just making the Pens their bitches with such alarming efficiency that I flipped over the Jon and Kate Plus 8 far more liberally than I ever thought I would during a Stanley Cup Final game. One of these ruthlessly efficient Red Wings is Selke Trophy nominee Henrik Zetterberg. Zetterberg seems to be a controversial figure among female hockey fans, so this seems to be an appropriate time to examine his hittability. We put it to you, SportSquee faithful, Henrik Zetterberg: Would You Hit It?
Yes: Is one of the best and most complete players in the NHL; looks like Jared Leto; there are no rumors of douchebaggery or asshattedness on record; fun eyebrows; has a sweet life-partnership with Pavel Datsyuk; looks like Martin Havlat; no, really, is SO good at hockey and it can't be said enough
No: Is a Red Wing; looks like Marjory the Trash Heap; is kind of boring; LaBeoufs his hair worse than Simon Gagne and has a vile beard; can be overshadowed by much flashier life partner, Pavel Datsyuk; looks like Pat Riley; is a Red Wing
Verdict: Yes. He's really good at hockey. I feel like I could get him to change the hair.
24 comments:
I sure would. If he wins the Selke, I'd hit him twice.
I would hit it without pause or deliberation. I see absolutely no downside here. Marjory the Trash Heap must be hot.
In a heartbeat. Something about his quiet, reserved demeanor tells me he'd be real tiger in the sack.
Absolutely. No brainer.
Why WOULDN'T you hit it? It is clear that the positives far outweigh the negatives in this instance. And he TOTALLY does bear a striking resemblance to Jared Leto... before he got all emo and sickly looking. What's up with that.
Jared = not hot when you're not eating.
Hank = Dreamboat
Yes. Yes.. Yes... Oh GOD YES. A thousand times yes. And I love beards (they tickle). And he's a Sweede. So there's the adorable accent to boot. Plus he might reccomend me to Osgood (no price is to high to pay for something like Osgood - except, He's a Red Wing). Although I would hit pretty much the whole team. If they weren't the Red Wings.
In fact, I can only think of 1 reason not to - He's a Red Wing.
Did I mention I hate the Red Wings.
I most definitely would! He's Swedish, which always gets bonus points in my book. And he's totally awesome.
Yes. But I would prefer he washed his hair first.
Absolutely no Red Wings.
Absolutely, despite his Red Wing status.
You're gunna have to ask me after the finals because all I feel is blinding rage when faced with any Red Wing at this point.
No. Never. He's a Red Wing.
No. NononononononononononoNO. No Red Wings.
God, yes.
Besides, I like the dirty ones. I don't even notice the hair. :)
i'd hit it. fo shizzle.
Of course I would hit it!
btw, favorite part of Monday's Jon & Kate Plus 8, was when one of the little girls asked her dad, "Why do little girls have little boops?" Jon's reaction was priceless.
Ummm, maybe when he's clean shaven and Steph says he's amusing, so maybe. I did like Fraggle Rock...
Yes, but only if Vinny is still wallowing in his misery.
I'd hit it. I prefer him hairy rather then clean shaven.
I would hit it. Then, when he is all worn out and sleepy from our 'sexy times', I will get out the scissors.
Nope. I just can't get past the red jersey. It would be sacreligious.
Maybe if he were blonde and Czech.
Hey guys Im new around here, I love this site, specially the Vinny stories, btw he shaved his head, I don't really like it : (
I would hit it again and again and again and again.
Can I hit Hairy Henrik with a razor? And for everyone who says they would hit it, wont ol Pavel get jealous? Will he be standing outside the room crying "Hennnnnnnrik, my Beloved? Why? Why?" You might have to sedate him.
This post is over a year old...but yes, I'd totally hit it. Many, many times. Hairy or not. I'd double-team him and Pavel, actually...lolz.
To all the Pens fans on here, congrats on the cup win, your team worked hard and deserved it. I was bummed that my beloved Wings didn't get it, but it's all good. Still love my Wings, 'specially my Henrik...mmmmm.
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